Why are people so mean?

First things first not everyone is mean, just some people are mean. It’s one thing for someone to be mean its another for you to think or feel like someone is being mean to you because you maybe just a little too sensitive

People may not actually be mean as you think; they may instead just be hurting inside,

It is the hurting that is actually portrayed as mean behavior or they could be mean because of other reasons as shown below but first its better to know what being mean means

Being mean in this instance can be described in three ways as follows;

  1. Not generous -not willing to give or share things for example when someone is always mean with money
  2. Being unkind – having a behavior of not letting somebody do or have something, for example, a boy can be mean to his sister by not letting her share his toys
  3. Angry and violet- when someone is likely to be violet or appears violet for instance, someone pushes you out of the way when walking because they think you are being slow and you are delaying them

Am sure from the above explanations of what being mean means you can relate to one of them and below we look at the reasons as to why people are mean to you or others

Here are the 11 reasons why people are so mean to you and being mean has nothing to do with race, gender or age as its a general human behavior

1. Some people are naturally mean

Well we all know that there are people that are naturals at something and they do not need a lot of training to be good it or show capability in something

In the same aspect, some people are naturally mean and they don’t need to try hard to showcase their mean side or character as its just part of them

In such an instance a mean person is likely not even know they are mean but the people around them are likely to notice the meanness

2. Some people are snobby and full of themselves

A snobby person is very likely to appear to be mean to the people he believes are below him and not his status or social standing

In most instances, snobby people are overly confident in what they say and believe they are always right and the tone they use to air out their views always turns out to be mean to others

Most snobby people are likely to get away with what they do thus not caring about how they make others feel due to usually authoritative or financial power they hold

Snobby people also always feel the need to put others down as a way of making themselves feel superior and in the process, they come off as being mean

3. Some people are mean because they don’t like you

It’s a lot easier to be mean to someone you don’t like. This usually portrayed when someone you have never interacted with happens to show a very rude behavior towards you when you interact for the first time

This is a result of someone picking up a negative impression towards or stereo types you at first site hence being unnecessarily mean to you

And even when someone has always disliked you for some reason, they can end up being mean to you

You cannot force people to like you but you can at least change the way you react towards them by avoiding them

4. People’s behaviors and characters always change based on who they are with

This may sound strange but it is true, this is also an indication that people’s characters and personalities are not fixed as they keep on changing based on who they are with, where they are and what they are doing

So if someone who likes you, is with you, they are very likely to be kind, and when they are with someone they dislike, they are likely to be rude

So the big question would be, is this person rude or kind because each person he is with has different view or experience about him, and if he is kind towards you, you will say he is kind and if he’s mean towards you, you will claim he’s rude

This is also talked about in the law of polarity where two opposites of something must exist and in this case both exist side by side in one person (kindness and meanness)

So the rude and mean character would be existing in one person and that has nothing to do with you but its just human nature though some people seem to have more of the meanness than the kindness

5. People are mean as a result of trying to revenge

Has someone ever annoyed and you stereotyped them, then you decide to revenge on all those of their kind, it could be by religion, tribe or race

Well you could also just be a victim of someone who has decided to revenge on you for being  rude to them earlier and literary giving you a taste of your own medicine or someone just decides to be rude to everyone who looks like you

6. Being mean and rude is confused with being brave or strong by some persons

People feel brave to say or act mean towards others and most times when someone says something rude they are praised for being bold. Most people tend to sound rude when being bold or straight with someone usually due to poor choice of words and tone used

7. Someone just having a bad day can make them appear mean

Interacting with someone on their bad day can make them act rudely towards you which would make you conclude that they are mean

But if you met them on any other normal day they may turn out to be the nicest people you will ever meet

8. People are mean because they are hurting inside

When someone is hurting inside, they happen to transfer the pain and wrath towards others either verbally through yelling or even physically through beating.

Some times it’s unintentional as someone would have been overtaken by emotions and they would go on to apologize while others just wanted to inflict pain on others and they end up being mean to others

People who are hurting always feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel better and one way of doing that is by being mean to others

9. Poor communication can make someone sound mean

The tone some people use while communicating with others makes them sound and appear mean.  The biggest problem with this is that a mean person would not realize they are actually being mean

And this is usually a result of poor usage of words which make someone sound extremely rude plus using a mean tone

10. Poor upbringing and lack of social skills

This has been portrayed today with the increasing number of social media bullies and trolls

Children spending more time at school and less time with their parents who would be more interested in guiding them has also lead people to grow up with a mean character

And some T.V shows haven’t helped either as they tend to portray being rude or mean as a better behavior when being firm while saying something or when trying to show others your authority and power

11. Some people do not realize that they are actually mean

This would be the worst kind of person to deal with. If a person lacks empathy it would be hard for them to realize they are being mean so that they could change or apologize

Even if you told them they are being mean, they could fail to see how or where they are being mean in any way


When you look at all the above reasons for being mean you will realize it’s hardly about you but the person who is being mean

That technically means there is no room for excuses or convincing reasons as to why you should be mean to someone else

The solution to mean people is to understand their situation so that you do not take it personally by avoiding them if you can and not responding to them. This is more of exhibiting self-control

So do not make a big deal out of it by revenging and instead return kindness or generosity towards a mean person as being rude to them may not make them kind but instead spark a war

In other words, darkness cannot drive out darkness


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