So here comes the same old debate as old as time; would you rather cry in a Mercedes Benz or be happy on a bicycle ? The truth is if having a Mercedes is supposed to make you happy or feel better and instead you’re crying then it’s not better.
That statement alone talks of financial stability by having an expensive car and both emotional and mental states of being happy, so a rephrased statement would be, would you rather be financially stable than emotionally and mentally stable? though we can all agree you don’t have to chose when you can have all of them
In this article you will learn that you need to attain and balance your emotional and mental states of life along side your finances as you need all the three in your life
Table of Contents
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
There’s a good chance you have come across Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in school, well interestingly it gives a good insight on finances, love and mental health and why we are obsessed with financial stability.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs gives a good insight on financial, emotional and mental stability, so the reason we seek financial stability is because its the starting point in achieving emotional and mental stability as you can see most of the things in psychological and safety needs have much to do with money, then love and belonging goes with emotional stability and esteem goes with mental stability.
For boys mainly there are advises for them to first get money before getting into relationships though this is mainly in a traditional sense where women don’t work and the labor force is filled with men who have to provide for their stay at home wives who would not be working so they would be counting on their husbands to provide everything and this would need you be financially stable
But in an era where women work that would not be a necessity as you can work with your partner to build your financial assets together
In relation to Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs this would be seeking safety and security along side psychological needs like food, water ,shelter and clothing
This also gives an insight on human behavior in setting priorities in that someone won’t go looking for one thing before they achieve another, in other words people set their priorities on needs vs wants like you need food before you can think of owning a car and you also won’t afford a car if you cannot even attain food or water, you need those first before you can achieve the other
It also goes on to show human beings are hardly satisfied, because when they achieve one thing, they go on to want another or more of that
If we are to go with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we need to first get financially stable then they will look for emotional stability which is relationships then if we achieve the relationships, will go on to seek mental stability which is literally happiness, peace of mind and satisfaction which appears that that’s all life is about.
One of the reasons money comes first is because it’s the hardest of the three to attain and also contains a lot of man made items that we need for our everyday use whilst the other two may not necessarily seem hard to attain but can be attained anytime whether with effort or effortlessly,
So basing on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs we are indirectly seeking financial stability as starting point or foundation so that we can attain emotional and mental stability but we also forget good emotional and mental strength can also help you attain financial stability,
The same way In the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, some people don’t necessarily follow the steps like someone can attain love and belonging before getting safety and security as they can have good emotional stability before getting mentally and financially stable
This is also the reason women are looking for financially stable men as its a good place to start in the prospects of attaining emotional and mental well being but this is usually done subconsciously and there’s no guarantee that being in a relationship with a financially stable person whom you may not even love at times brings emotional and mental stability but its a good place to start
Emotional stability deals mainly with how you are able to control your reactions in relation to your feelings as a result of something emotionally stimulating directed towards you like staying calm during stressful moments of everyday life
An emotional stability example would be when you are very rich so you don’t have financial problems at least. So at some dreadful time you happen to catch your partner cheating. Now this something even being rich will not fix so not everything has a price tag on it and loyalty is one of them
Cheating in relationships is a very good example where you need to have your emotions in check so that you don’t carry out any rush or regrettable decisions with a rush of emotions
How you handle that situation without doing something bad to the other person would take a lot of emotional intelligence and stability not to let your emotions get the better of you
Or even today people have developed a habit of ignoring others when they contact them on different online platforms, this alone can take a toll on you and you take it personal like you’re worthless because the other person couldn’t make an effort to get back to you
Or if someone ends a relationship with you, how are you able to handle that and not stalk them or become petty as a means of getting back at them. Today on different social media platforms you can see a lot of people spreading gender based hate about relationships because they got hurt in the past and they haven’t healed
This is not necessarily being emotionally mature but as well emotionally stable and emotionally intelligent
All examples given are about relationships which are an essential part of humans and we cannot escape them and they do give us meaning in life so there effect on us is extremely strong in our lives
Lack of good emotional strength and awareness also makes it hard for people to leave bad abusive relationships where they being emotionally abused even when they really need to leave as a result of unhealthy attachments
How to become Emotionally Stable
- Learn to express yourself about how you feel instead of bottling in your emotions as this affects you emotional well being
- Learn to say yes when you want something and no when you don’t
- learn to manage your stressors and not necessarily the stress
- Seek professional help if needed
Mental and Emotional stability
There’s a thin line between being mentally and emotionally stable in life as they seem to be one of the other. For example your heart loves your abusive partner, now that’s emotionally related, and your mind notices the red flags and advises you to leave that person but you can’t, for one reason or another, now that’s mental
Now you mind is consciously telling you the right thing to do but your emotions are getting the better of you, you are actually foregoing the logical thing to do and this is where you need to apply emotional intelligence and not let your emotions get the better of you
This is like crying in a Mercedes Benz than being happy on bicycle because as much you know and see that you are emotionally down and broken, your mentality tells you at least you’re financially safe so it’s not as bad as it looks otherwise it could be worse
A piece of mind (emotional and mental stability) is so essential when you have money or even when you don’t, it’s one of the reasons some people choose to stay single.
Mental stability deals mainly with how you think, than feel, it’s how you decide to logically approach things in a factual realistic way without letting them get on your mind to alter your perception on things
As a matter of fact, mental strength is the most important of the three because once you fail to balance it, you are also likely to lose the other two.
Here is an example of where you need good mental strength, losing your job will have a strong mental strain on you but you need to get up, move on and find another.
We are also not perfect beings at all, how you handle all the negative things that could be said to you by other other people so that they don’t bring you down is real mental strength at work
Failure to have good mental strength could also affect your finances as you may end up wasting them drinking, gambling or doing drugs as a way of coping
As a matter of fact everyone wants a high paying job since it brings in a lot of money that would help them attain financial stability ,but some jobs can also carry a mental strain on you in that some people decide to resign from them for the sake of their emotional well being and mental health. This shows that one needs to be able to strike balance between their mental well being and search for financial stability.
How to improve your Mental stability
- Make sure you eat health or a balanced diet
- Give social media a break if its affecting your mental health and esteem
- Seek professional help if needed
- Exercise regularly
- Let past mistakes be lessons to learn from and not a place to live
- Be around persons that bring out the best in you and have positive vibes
This is what most people are seeking in everyday life because of what it brings to them mainly because how materialistic people have gotten and at least knowing they can acquire most things in life that money can buy like shelter, good health services, an education which will give you a peace of mind knowing you have that under control leading to mental stability but not necessarily emotional stability.
Besides, having money gives one “power” or being influential and a higher status in society which makes it possible for you to have whatever you want.
The wrong perception people have is they think when they have money every problem in their life would be solved and this mainly because most of the problems they have are money related but in reality life doesn’t work like as the more you succeed the bigger , stronger and harder your challenges and problems as money is not the epitome of everything in life
What people forget when you buy everything in life that money can buy, all that is left for you to attain is everything money can’t buy like good health or meaningful relationships. No one wants to have fake friends just because they can give them money let alone that that won’t be good for you mental health or emotional well being in the long run
How to improve your Financial stability
- Get a job as a means of earning money
- work with in a budget and not just spending any how
- You can make investments which will help increase your sources of income
- Practice saving since it would help as a back up when you are low on cash or the saved money can be used for investments
Why does Emotional ,Mental and Financial stability matter ?
John Lennon a successful musician was asked by his teacher what he wanted to be life, and well as other students said they wanted to be doctors or lawyers, Lennon said he wanted to be a “happy”, the teacher said to him that he didn’t understand the question to which Lennon replied the teacher that he didn’t understand life.
And there much lies the answer, much as getting one of the three will help you get the other, this will also give you satisfaction in life which satisfaction will bring you happiness and gratitude or even getting all the three balanced in your life will also bring you success in things you want to achieve in life thus giving you a meaningful life with purpose
Does Emotional stability, Mental stability and Financial stability go hand in hand
What are the chances all the three go hand in hand, there’s a good possibility all the three need each and a lack of one would make you lose the other and having just one might also make you gain the other two
For example financial stability gives you the capability of getting most of the things you want in life that money can buy, things which will give you a peace of mind leading to mental stability thus if you are mentally stable, you are also likely to have you emotions in check leading to emotional stability as you’re also likely to be in the right mind frame to take control of your emotions which would give you a good balanced life
Financial stability and Romantic relationships
There’s an entanglement between money and love because you can use one to get the other, you can use money to get love or you can use love to get money, so everyone is trying different means to get the one they are in need of most or both
The reason some women claim they don’t need a man is because the only reason they felt they needed a man is because they needed money but now that they have their own money, do they still need a man ? Well at least not in this instance they instead may want a man and this time as they have the power to make a choice and choose without being vulnerable to needing money
As matter of fact, women who have been able to achieve financial stability are very likely to seek emotional stability in relationships other than financial stability as that’s already solved on their side
But it’s not all roses, having money gives you a new challenge men face every day, am I loved for my money or because someone really loves me,and if the money is lost who will stay by you ?
It’s true, love doesn’t pay bills but that’s because that’s not it’s purpose, just taking advantage of the situation to suit your needs or wants doesn’t make it’s core purpose. You need to get a source of income obviously a job so that you can pay your bills and not necessarily use a relationship as a source of income taking advantage of someone’s love for you as a business or a job
That’s like saying you’re not loved at your work place, is the purpose of going to your workplace to look for love?
So being loved at your workplace is a good thing but that’s not the core reason you’re at work much as being at a work place where you’re not loved could have a mental and emotional strain on you
And that’s certainly a reason why some of the first questions a girl would ask you when you first meet is what job do you do and it’s not necessarily needing money but because you will also need money to acquire other things in the relationship
The downside of someone being with you because of money, the moment you lose it they could leave because that’s all they wanted from you,be it friends or lovers and sadly this could take a mental or emotional toll on you cause now not only would you need them to support you financially too but you would also need their emotional and mental support more than ever
We seek and need emotional, mental and financial stability much as most people think they only need financial stability usually because of the situation they are in at the moment or in the past not knowing they want financial stability so that they can attain emotional and mental stability.
So the lesson here is to find out which one you have strength in and use that to get the other two, Even if you have none, find out which one you hold an advantage of attaining easily, build on that and use that to attain the other two because weather you know it consciously or not, your purpose in life and everyday challenge is attain balance emotionally, mentally and financially