why do women stay in abusive relationships

First things first no person would choose something bad for themselves when they could choose something better.

No woman would choose to stay in an abusive relationship when they could really have a better choice or option

So if someone is in an abusive relationship then something is definitely making them stick around and endure the pain

Abuse, in this case, means treating someone with cruelty, violence and inflicting physical, emotional or mental pain regularly on the victim

On the other hand, men can also be in abusive relationships though a man would be considered a weakling and not man enough for admitting to the abuse and would be told to man up perhaps

So at the end of it, no man can come up and admit to being abused in a relationship as they would face serious social stigma for succumbing to abuse from a woman who is always stereotyped for being weak

But we not here about men so let’s get on with 11 reasons why women stay in abusive relationships;

1. A woman being financially dependant will keep her in an abusive relationship

This is 90% of the reason why women would stay in abusive relationships of any nature. Women would be willing to endure emotional abuse or physical abuse in the relationship because of Money

This is very rampant and common as most women go into relations for money and the only thing they own in the relationship is their body and totally nothing of monetary value added in a relationship

Due to the benefits of having money and the consequences of being poor, the majority of the women would be willing to stay in an abusive relationship at any cost.

In most cases, if the woman left the relationship, they lose the car from the husband, nowhere to stay as some lack jobs and others the jobs belong to men or the jobs they do cannot sustain the lively hood they have gotten accustomed to

On the other hand, these women are also emotionally unavailable in the relationship and tend to cheat well as they do not care if their partner loves them or not or whether he cheats or not as long as he is able to give them money

On the contrary, the same cannot be said for financially stable women as they cannot accept any form of abuse from their partners in any way.

And if their partner tired to cause any form of harm to them they will leave in a heartbeat as they value themselves highly and also do have enough money to get themselves anything they want

2. Attachment to the partner

Some people have been through a lot with their partners and cannot bear leaving their partners behind.

They are more than will to stay because every time they try to leave they end up missing their partner and decide to stay

The woman literary cannot imagine a life without her partner

3. Fear of the outcome of leaving the relationship

Most people in abusive relationships are always having fear of what would happen if they decided to leave the relationship

They are always afraid that the husband inflicting the pain on them might do something worse like killing them or their family

Interestingly their fears are always proven right as the moment they try to leave sometimes they are severely beaten by their partners and some times to coma

4. Fear of stigma and Embarrassment

Everyone wants a perfect relationship and being in an abusive one is not near anyone’s dreams. If you are abused and you try to talk about it in today’s society you could be frowned upon

No one would want to come out and admit that they are being abused in a relationship in anyways despite different organizations coming up to help

The way society would react to your reason for leaving the relationship goes to the next reason

5. Abuse in the relationship is seen as normal

In some societies, the man is seen as the head of the family who can do anything he wants any way he wants.

Some forms of abuse in relationships are seen as normal which ends up making the victim stay in a relationship as they would think it’s okay to be abused

It is in instances like this that you will hear all men are the same

6. Having self-esteem problems

If a woman being abused in a relationship decides to take the blame for the abuse they are likely to stay in a relationship.

They believe it’s their fault that they are being abused and definitely it is up to them to change so that they are not abused in a relationship

The low esteem issues usually result from emotional abuse by the partner to the extent that the woman is willing to defend the partner when they physically abuse them

The women would never leave the relationship and always takes the abuse as her fault and stay in a relationship while defending the husband’s actions

7. Staying in a relationship to raise the children with both parents around

Some women do want to raise their children away from their fathers especially because they want their children to experience both parents’ love

Also moving away from an abusive relationship would lead a family to fall apart and it would be hard to create that bond when the children are grown-up

So women end staying in a bad relationship for the sake of their children

8. They think their partner will change.

Well hope can get you going and even encountering the hardships of life with ease

Hope will make you try every day with an assumption that things will get better at the end and women stay in bad and abusive relationships because they have hope and believe their partners will change for the better.

So they hold on in the relationship

9. Expectation Vs reality

We all have an impression image we built up about a person in our heads and we profile them.

So if a woman built an impression of her husband being caring loving and being emotionally available for her.

 It’s very hard to drop your imagination of who you think a person is and who they actually are and that leads some women to stay in abusive relations as the wait for the person they think they know to show up

10. Loving the way it hurts

Often these kinds of abuses have a cycle of making up and breaking up and some women always end up staying because of the make up phase.

Everything goes back to perfect as the partner would apologies or even does any loving gesture for her which makes her stay

This could also be related to Stockholm syndrome indirectly, for Stockholm syndrome, the hostage develops a psychological alliance with the captors and there is a bond formed between the two during intimidate time together

The relationship between the two is having positive emotional feels towards the person inflicting pain and not wanting them to get punished for their actions or wanting to get away from them either

11. love for their partner

Much as love conquers all and people do all crazy stuff for love, in this instance a woman would stay in an abusive relationship because they love their husbands.

Instances where you really love someone, you are very likely to be willing to take up a lot but honestly being abused in a relationship is not love at all


Coming from a failed relationship is a lot better than coming from a relationship as a dead or broken person irrespective of what kind of abuse you are getting

However hard it could be for you to leave the relationship, it could be the best hardest decision you could take as you would have no idea of what could happen next if you stayed and the last thing you want to do is regret

The lesson is if something is bad, it’s bad, whoever is doing it for whatever reason they are doing it does not make it right and you need to stand up against it at all cost for your own good and everyone involved,

You would even be surprised how many people are facing the same problem and are willing to stand with you

And if you know someone in an abusive relationship you should help them in any possible way and get them out of there or contact someone you know could help get them out of that situation


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